Forgiveness is the child of understanding, not of repentance: please verify this.
A flower as pure as forgiveness cannot be born from a despondent, impoverished, frightened ground, but from the greatest embrace a being can give itself and all its past. It is necessary to enter into a state of relaxation so deep, of awareness so full, as to realise with the heart that everything that happened was inevitable, driven to happen exactly like this. And to decide to renew oneself, to allow oneself to be other than the person I was years ago, yesterday or a little while ago. Free yourself from repentance, and free everyone else.
Repentance is a feeling of great arrogance: a little ‘I’ that says ‘I am sorry for everything that has happened’. But the ego is not given the right to take credit or be sorry for anything, only to observe, to understand, to treasure a teaching, all the experience given, and to open itself to Life.
And when this happens, the gift of freeing others from their debts and oneself from the inner guilt of being eternal debtors emerges.
Forgiving does not then mean that you will not do what is necessary. That would mean that you have forgotten what happened to you. Forgetting means having little memory, it is not a virtue. You remember every bitter moment of your life, yet you do not carry bitterness in your heart: that is forgiving.
The point here is not whether or not someone is worthy of receiving your forgiveness, including yourself. The point is whether or not your heart is ready to forgive.
A liberating embrace