You cannot live long by restraining yourself, keeping your true nature, the Truth you have come to bring, at bay. You can try, but it is an endeavour doomed to failure.
Tyranny over oneself or others is simply too exhausting, it is unnatural. It is based on continuous and constant control, it requires all available energy, and sooner or later it wears out, corrodes and breaks down.
However deeply they may have persuaded you to harden, meditate on this: you are not made like stone. A stone can be marked, carved, wounded, furrowed and written on. But you are not like it. You are rather like water, which learns and is enriched by the memories of Creation as it flows on forever.
Every fear you have created to protect you, to contain you, hides the desire for a greater You, for a Truth that awaits its dawn.
I leave you here with an opportunity to remember this: https://youtu.be/GwbUYgpjuLQ (ital. language)
A liberating embrace