This morning I read your questions and I found this one: “Dear H. David, the people who are closest to me dump every weight and frustration on me. There are days when I think they take advantage of my love. Can you tell me why this happens? What should I do?”.
Let’s start from here, it is necessary that you understand this: most human beings are born with an inherited emotional burden, partly deriving from past lives, partly from the generations that came before them. Added to this ‘gift’ is the educational void of our time: you have an entire Universe inside you and no instruction booklet, you are left alone to deal with it.
You say: “There are days when I think they take advantage of my love.” You are right, and even if it seems absurd to you, in reality, it is perfectly logical. People are afraid of the pain they have inside, they don’t know what to do with it, they are unable to go through it, so they decide to unload it on the outside. Here, however, a problem arises: if they did it openly, they could be isolated; our society does not like sincere admissions, it cannot bear pain, if not for the time of a news item. And this is how the place where one can unload one’s weights becomes a private one. But you cannot vent with the walls of your house, you would feel ridiculous, and so you do it with the people closest to you: you know that they probably won’t run away, that they will listen to you, that their love will welcome your wounded heart. That’s what happens.
What to do? Understand how it works, admit to yourself that you have participated in this exchange of pain and effort. You will feel the difference when you can ‘see’ clearly what is happening in you and in them. Then you will have only two possibilities: to continue to strike and take it like a boxer for your whole life, or to stop throwing away your burden, start dealing with it, and be ready when the burden of others comes to you too. Because, perhaps you still don’t know it, but if you embark on a path of inner transformation, the whole world will come looking for you to ‘entrust’ you with its pain. And some will ask you: “Why does this happen? What can we do?”
In this case, then, you will learn how to show compassion in the face of their anger, integrity in the face of pain, willingness in the face of surrender. And this will make your example sweet as a caress, your presence warm as a hug.
A miracle will happen: you who couldn’t even bear your own burden and now know how to support theirs, continuing to walk serenely.
A devoted embrace