This week, I receive a gift of a story, which a wonderful artist shared with me after a meeting. It’s so spiritual and universal that I promised her I would pass it on to others.
“I was nineteen years old when I got married and moved in with my husband in Boston. Thirteen months later, our son was born, the colossus who is here with me tonight. For ten years, life seemed simple and normal, everything worked. I found a job as a schoolteacher and proceeded without major challenges, doubts, or questions. Until one night that changed everything.
Indeed, I was awakened early one night by a strong anguish that weighed heavily on my heart, something I had never felt before. I got out of bed and took a shower in the vain hope of washing away the pain. As I entered the bathroom, I briefly passed by the mirror, and my still sleepy eyes met it. I looked at myself, and suddenly I saw my mother’s face instead of mine. The anguish then expanded, suffocating my entire body, and I realized with great clarity: for ten years, I hadn’t asked any questions, I had never had any doubts, and yet now I felt clearly that I hadn’t lived my own life. I had followed the path my mother would have wanted for me.
Confused and in tears, I rushed to wake up my husband and told him everything. I thought he would think I was crazy, but instead, he responded with great tenderness, saying that we could fix things, and he would commit to doing it with me. And he truly did. After a few weeks, I returned to my great passion for painting, to remind myself of who I am, and to have time for myself. Months went by, and things seemed to improve, everything around me got better, but my anguish remained the same. No adjustment had occurred inside, none was enough to respond to that force. I felt guilty, but I couldn’t help it; it was there and driving me.
I realized that it wasn’t about fixing things; it was about changing them.
And so today, I live here on a different continent, with art as my sole companion, hoping to be an example for my son of someone who doesn’t take life for granted, who doesn’t just survive, who has been lost and tries every day to find themselves.”
May her story inspire you; that’s why it was gifted to me. The wonderful protagonist needed no advice from me; she shared all of this with one single desire: to let you know that you are not alone.
A courageous embrace.