Marvellous jealousy

“Dear David, it’s Cristina, I’m writing to you because my 20-year relationship has now collapsed and the biggest problem is our huge, bloody jealousy. Do you have any advice for me to work on it?”

Sweet Cristina, I can assure you that it is not as it seems, and I am not going to give you any real advice, just an invitation to observe better.

I imagine you already know this: each individual can spend entire periods of his or her life closed in on himself or herself, hermetically sealed. Each individual can set about building solid walls that protect him or her from everyone else, from the world. And when this happens nothing and no one can touch us, that is true, but we also soon discover that the price of such an enclosure is always imprisonment. Nothing can get in and you cannot get out. A very high price, which sooner or later becomes unbearable, then we abandon it.

Once out of prison, though, where to start? It seems difficult to get back in touch with Existence: it is so big, so immense. Well, the door is relationships. Because when you enter into a relationship your energy spontaneously flows towards your partner and the two rivers meet: they create a flood. In a short time every barrier can fall, every defence dissipate, possession become a common home. And this unexpected gift is so extraordinary, so therapeutic that you feel rich: the dawn of every relationship is a new miracle. Your peripheries vanish and the other appears more and more like a door to new depths. Then comes jealousy.

But mind you: jealousy is not there because of the partner, he has nothing to do with it, she is there for you. Jealousy is there to remind you that you are still hiding the fear of returning to isolation and that Life is asking you to learn to Love unconditionally, to open yourself again, so much so that you no longer recognise yourself. You say: ‘If you don’t want to go back, you have to jump forward!

People, however, are not used to diving into that great Ocean, and so they make jealousy an excess of commitment, of zeal: putting all they can into keeping that little bit of Beauty they have found.

Do not condemn her, there is no need, she is not the biggest problem. It’s just that you suffered so much, then the other came along and reminded you that you could no longer pay such a high price. You considered it a divine miracle, and you were right. But then you hardened, stopped, closed your fists, trapped that blessing. Yet jealousy is there to remind you how precious this opportunity is, how much energy and effort it takes to go through your partner and become reconciled with the whole of Life.

Before you give up, try then to remind yourselves what you really want, to give yourselves totally to each other, to surrender yourselves to total sincerity.

You can feel it with your Heart: jealousy is not an obstacle, but a springboard.

An inundating embrace

The beggar’s oath

“Maybe it’s not worth it, after all it’s better here where I am.”
How many times have you come close, really close, to finally touching that coveted summit, to putting your foot on the threshold of Home, and the feeling of having to give up has arisen in you. How many times could you have taken it all to a higher level, shown yourself for what you are, and run away instead.
It is always like a thrill that rises from the remotest depths and advises you to aim lower, to spare yourself a little, not to hit the target; like a voice whispering in your ear: ‘What will happen if we win? Reflect on this: the whole world, the whole of Humanity, declares that it treads a path in search of Love, Peace, Truth, of God, and then, as soon as it perceives their nearness, it gets distracted, repudiates them, turns back.

It is like an ancient oath, an old vow, which has to do with all those times when you did not feel great enough, worthy enough. Of all those times when you bet on yourself and lost, when you prayed and were abandoned, when you couldn’t handle your power and someone next to you suffered tremendously.

So you said: ‘I solemnly swear to step aside, to sit by the side of a road and watch others pass by. Let them, I have had enough, my heart has had enough. I will beg, I will be a beggar, everything as long as nothing more depends on me.”

You have vowed to yourself never to try to the utmost lest you meet with failure again. And because of this oath, every time you had a chance, every time a curtain opened, every time a sceptre was given to you, every time someone loved you: you did everything you could to push back, to sabotage, to give up, so that you would not have to trust again. And you did it so well, and for so many lifetimes, that today you have probably even forgotten about it, that you don’t even notice it anymore, you and so many others with you.

Yet you know it, if you are travelling in the depths of the Spirit, perhaps you feel it. Many times you have felt as if you were falling and many times you have felt as if you were losing, but this was only one version of your story. How much Beauty in the Universe arises from what we think is a mistake, from an imperfection. How much Wonder can arise from the tears of a cry, from the pain of a birth.

Then hear me well and meditate on this: your garments are threadbare, your hands dirty, you have punished yourself enough. You have punished yourself enough! Forgive what has been, forgive yourself for what you could not give, recognise your qualities, go all the way: what else can you do? You are a king disguised as a beggar, however well you may pretend, the light in your eyes will always reveal your deceit.

A hug to lift us up together

In a Time of Threats, Use Your Time to Love

Today is a beautiful May day, the sunlight gently caresses the colourful branches of the trees, the wind rocks the swings, gravity cradles the streams. Are you in their company?

Today we all take a new step in this life, we receive in our hands a wonderful opportunity to continue the journey on Earth in our own way, regardless of the whirlwind of the world. Don’t let it take away your time, please.

Because you only have a handful of years within this body and time is therefore the most precious gift at your disposal. You can spend it however you like, even share it with someone. When we give our time to someone or something we are giving our most precious asset. When we give someone our time, we are offering them a chapter of our life, we are inviting them to be part of our story. Don’t save time, enjoy it all and now.

Reflect on how you spend your hours, how much you navigate the river of thoughts, pre-occupations and their weight, lamentations, meditation, prayer and smiles… Reflect on the time you spend loving.

Remember this: you are the world in which you incarnated, you tend this corner of the garden. May you say before its doors: “Here dwell fearless embraces and kisses, here live intensely.”

May this moment of yours be for loving.
May you love by dedicating your precious time.
May there be no other time, no other space, devoid of life, devoid of You.

In the first comment I leave you a meditation to accompany this loving day. (Italian language)

An inn-loving embrace

The magic of spring

How much reflection has winter brought with it? How many changes, suggestions, new possibilities has it offered you?

You will have noticed over the years: the seasons have their own energy, they change our breath, our emotions, our daily habits. Seasons are like rooms in our consciousness, places that open for a short period of time and call us to meet new shades of life, to re-embrace old parts of us.

The whirling of the months leads us on an inner journey, we go to live in different areas, we return to a room after a year and find the same clothes, colors, desires left there. Try to check it out, compare all the themes of this winter with those of the last few winters. You’ll see a red thread, a line drawn to bring you to certain awarenesses, to loosen chains, to open doors.

And now spring is coming, let’s enter its smells, its magic. April slowly crosses the threshold and poses the first questions: “How do we flower? How much freedom and sincerity in our relationship with ourselves? How much courage do we have this time to share ourselves with the rest of the world?”.

So enter each room with the same joy of a homecoming, and then sort through it, enjoy it, savor it intensely. And when the time comes to say goodbye, remember: what you leave integrated or unresolved here you will find again, it will not escape, it will not vanish, it is part of you.

Because the seasons are paintings of this eternal and mysterious adventure of ours, occasions to remember that we can continue to meet each other for eternity without ever getting to know each other fully.

A nomadic embrace

The power of change

When you look around and discover that it is not the world you want, you have the power and the right to do something about it. There are then two ways forward: commit to changing the system from within, build an alternative.

In these hours, many are in the streets protesting, others are going to live in remote communities. Some propose themselves in politics, others evade the laws. Some organise conferences in universities and hospitals, some build different universities and hospitals. Those who argue with teachers and headmasters in schools, those who send their children to study in the woods.

If you go the first way, ask yourself the following:

1- Do I have the power to change this part of the system?
2- Does the system want to change?
3- Is change possible in the short, medium or long term?

If you go the second way, instead:

1- What novelty do I want-propose?
2- Do experiments already exist in this regard?
3- Do I have enough courage to live differently?

In any case, no one can change the world on their own, and it is always worthwhile to find others who share your heart. But beware of the consequences of being part of something. Because a movement born of fear and anger always ends in a storm of anger and fear, while one born of desire always brings new ones.

And then what? Whatever your choice, once you have made your decision, cultivate the dream you carry with you and do not give up. Remember this: those who do not have a dream are destined to follow someone else’s dream.

A hug from the lost communities

Every day is a new day

A few weeks ago, I was standing in front of a primary school at afternoon dismissal time. When the doors opened, I saw whole classes of children leaving with their heads bowed, sad, angry, with tears in their eyes. I asked for an explanation and was told it was ‘Remembrance Day’. The proud teachers then began to describe to the parents present their efforts to recount and show images of some past atrocities. I reflected on the follies we are capable of.

On this wonderful spring day, I learned instead that in Italy they have chosen to dedicate 18 March to the victims of covid, so as to ensure a new tear to the next generation, to mark a scar in their hearts. Before support for this initiative spreads, it is worth saying something about it.
Because what politicians ignore, and what many of the army of educators choose not to see, is that a day dedicated to the victims of something easily turns into a day dedicated to anger, frustration, fear. It is a time dedicated to pain, illness, cruelty, powerlessness and this never educates to renewal, to different choices, but to guilt, to fear of what could still happen.

There are no victims, someone had to tell you sooner or later. What a lack of empathy, of compassion, of respect in considering someone a victim. No, there are no victims, you have the right not to be considered as such, because whatever happens to you, you will certainly have done your best to live until the end, to breathe, to love, to be you until the last moments of this experience on Earth. No event will ever have the power to deprive you of being a protagonist, an important part of our history.

If we want to grow, we must learn to let go of the past, because all our resistance always stems from the past. We keep judging the present by referring to the past, but the past is no more, it can become totally irrelevant, and yet we let it interfere. We keep judging by that, saying, “This is right and that is wrong,” and all these ideas of right and wrong, all these energies, come from something that is dead. Your cadaverous past weighs on you to the point that it prevents you from moving. Learn from it to be who you are better than you were yesterday, and then drop it completely, you will be surprised: most of the suffering will disappear.

We do not need a way of the cross in our hearts, days dedicated to fatigue, to death, to suffering: we rather need the feast of desire, the day of passion, of freedom and not liberation, of love without lovers, of the joy of learning to be authentic, happy, alone and inseparably together.

Because every day is a new day, and it is completely yours, at your service, it comes for you: don’t devote it to anything other than living it intensely.

A festive embrace

Once upon a time, in a land I can’t remember

Once upon a time, in a land I can’t remember,
was a King who had managed
to get all the people to agree
and to join in one single party,
which was the monarchic one, so that
it was the same he wanted.

When a subject was born, the government
would remove a special gland from them,
so that their inner feeling would be adjusted
to that of the national conscience,
so that they would grow up believing in that idea,
just like a charioteer wears his livery.

If you were looking for an anarchist – good luck!
fat chance, you wouldn’t find anybody,
no socialists, no republicans,
not for love or money;
any remnant of an opinion
was sold off for a dime.

Some principles, after all, are like a hook;
and when things come to the point,
the purpose of parties is to be an outlet for the citizens,
who hope for any kind of public office,
and who – in the heat of the moment –
would hook onto the cheapest, quickest ideal.

That’s why, in that land I told you about,
they were living in such a happy way:
with no jostling, with no spite,
all tamed to hold the same opinion.
People who had a different stance,
were held to be freaks.

Every evening, the people would gather
in front of the Palace to see the Sovereign
opening his window among the cheering,
and showing himself among the hand clapping,
and then he would begin talking
as if he were talking to a single person.

— People! — he would ask — How are you? —
And all the people below
would reply in chorus: — Very well!
We feel like we have won the lottery! —
And after telling them some other things,
the King, happy, would send them to bed.

It happened that one evening the King asked them:
— Do you all agree? — And then
from a hundred thousand mouths you could
hear nothing but a prolonged «Yes», which lasted half an hour.
Only one little man went astray,
and after saying «Yes» he said «But…».

Imagine what happened!
— We need to cudgel him! — shouted the crowd —
Indecisiveness are no longer allowed,
otherwise we’re back to shilly-shally…
— Let me explain, then we’ll see…
— said the man, who wasn’t dumb. —

In fact, as soon as the King asked us
if we agreed, I replied
in the way we had agreed up;
however, a good friend of mine who was standing next to me,
in making his way, right at that moment,
he stepped on my calluses unexpectedly.

So, I didn’t protest:
that «but» that I let out in good faith1
more than a thought I had in my mind,
was a pain I had in my foot.
But – I was saying – it’s no use if we step on each other’s calluses.

When – for ambition or profit –
one no longer minds where he’s walking,
and he steps on his mate’s calluses,
it’s all the worse for the discipline… —
It was then that the crowd, persuaded,
said: — All right… but… just stay at home.

To Trilussa, in the month in which he left the Earth, and his poems, to our time.

Samhain

Perhaps not everyone knows that the holiday of 31 October, now called Halloween, actually derives from the ancient Samhain, a pagan Celtic New Year’s Day.

This day was considered by the Celts to be a timeless, sacred and deeply spiritual time, when it was customary to thank the past year and welcome the new one by lighting a big fire together.

The only thing that today’s Halloween has in common with ancient Samhain is the intuition that somehow the veil separating the worlds of the invisible and the visible can be torn away during these hours.

In ancient times, in all traditions, the autumn period was considered the best time of the year to approach the cult of the dead, the perception of spirits, prescience, telepathy, the materialisation of spiritual and energetic power.

Even today, for those who can afford to listen to themselves and the world around them, these are days of great intensity and strength. Every meditation, every intuition, every perception or energetic exercise is closer, more concrete and stronger than ever during these hours.

So I feel I want to share with anyone who wishes to experience these hours differently a little tip that my Masters gave me several years ago.

“In these hours your energies double, your unconscious and your conscious tend to unite to remind you of the strength and greatness that belong to you. Close your eyes and listen to your body vibrate. What you can understand today will be the focus of your work throughout the coming year.

Happy Samhain!

The idiocy of feeling responsible

As you know, at the beginning of your spiritual journey you spend a lot of energy trying to get rid of a tangled web of interior traps. Speaking to yourself has never been simple and it takes a long time to learn how to be sincere again. At the beginning you’re disorientated by the quantity of things you learn about yourself and the world and by the many questions that before you wouldn’t even dreamt of asking and by the answers, which only now we have the courage to give you. And then, slowly, your awareness of what life really is finally grows powerful and, day by day, your doubts and hesitation disappear. You feel like a lion with a thick mane and an incredible roar. At least until the moment when you want to be free in the real world too; in your everyday choices, at home and in the office, where everything seems to get more difficult again.

Here we meet the second, very difficult network with all its traps and emotional blackmail. People have told you a million times, and you’ve repeated it to yourself even more often, “What has happened to you? Be careful because you could suffer and make others suffer. You are responsible for what is happening and you have an influence over others in the same way that they have influence you. Think well before you decide what you want to do.” And this is where many stumble fall and turn back. Over the centuries this was the point that saw the real mortality of spiritualists and those who practised Eish Shaok. Yet it would have been enough, and would take little to understand that that way of looking at existence was never farther from the truth. In this brief article I’ll explain how to free yourself from that confusion and -show you how to approach your responsibilities, your forced choices and your sense of guilt, past present and future, with affection.

Let’s start by making a distinction between responsibility for an event (for example, I left the car unlocked and it got stolen) and a sense of responsibility that we feel towards another person (another example; my wife is jealous because I was going to my lover’s house when my cat got stolen). I’m going to concentrate on the second example because it’s easier to discuss logically. Compared to the first I could also say that everything thamacbeth-with-sword1t happens is destined to happen (otherwise it wouldn’t happen would it?!) and that we are immersed in a fantastic network that connects absolutely everything (even the wife and the lover!) to be part of the Grand Design. However, only by going deep into your spiritual self can you fully accept this. Shakespeare’s Macbeth said, “If chance will have me king, why chance may crown me,” yet he did everything he could not to give in to his destiny. Abandoning yourself to the current isn’t easy but now we can begin to get rid of some of the ties. Let’s have a look together at why it’s stupid to think we have responsibility over others or the others over us.

Here are three small important examples to support your absolute freedom.

1 Does a parent have psychological responsibility for their children? The answer might be a clear and obvious ‘Yes’. Yet children don’t blindly follow their parents’ orders. You just need to think of the lives of great people who have challenged and overturned their beginnings to understand that it doesn’t work like that at all. If we really are a product of the education we receive then there would never have been any enlightened Masters. The parents of Siddhartha wanted him to be a warrior but in the end it was his Spirit that chose for him.

2 It could be argued that this is true only for those with a greater inner strength. Consider two siblings growing up in the same house; the same age, the same background and yet with two completely different perspectives on life. Nobody’s unconscious can be silenced by the teachings they receive, not even that of little children who have just come to earth. You can see the presence of an independent imprint really well in the instinctive behaviour of small children. But can’t you be influenced? Absolutely not. Let’s look at the third example.

3 This example concerns you personally. What happens when somebody tells you something? For example I’m going to make you think that the screen you have in front of you is really a banana. A little voice inside you analyses what I’ve said and judges whether it’s consistent with the belief system, desires and expectations you’ve created up to now. Then, if you decide it really is a banana, the small voice will make you think about it for several minutes, hours, days until, bit by bit, you will convince yourself that it’s true. And the same will happen to others when you’re the one talking about bananas. Nobody has a real power over the others but, to make up for it, we all have power over ourselves.

On the surface, and deep inside, as adults and as children, we have an inner nature to be reckoned with. It’s like a voice that pushes us beyond barriers and boundaries to accomplish what we came here to do. And it’s thanks to this voice that we can say that we can’t influence or be influenced. We don’t have the responsibility of how others feel and what they think. If you open your eyes, it’s obvious. Try changing perspective.

I’m going to say it one more time: you don’t have any real responsibility over others. You have no responsibility over others. Let it become your liberating mantra.

So, say goodbye to the feelings of guilt that keep those who still believe in the fairy tale of right and wrong awake at night. Bid farewell to the recriminations over those who made you feel bad. And say so long to the forced choices, because there are no longer choices which are conditioned by circumstances and, if the truth be known, there never have been. You are convinced you need to move in a particular direction even if you don’t want to … but it’s all a game that you’ve always played alone. Only choices exist.

You have one single duty and also a right: to express, and not repress, life.sensi di colpa 2..eish shaok

So how did we end up believing in external responsibilities? Everything that led us to believe in our responsibility towards the world and the world’s responsibility towards us is linked to the big problem of control. Believing in the idea that each of us has an internal nature which is free from fear and cannot be controlled by social logic is something that has always frightened us. If everyone did exactly what they wanted there would be anarchy. Yet eliminating this sense of responsibility, and the sense of guilt that comes with it, doesn’t actually cause any harm, in fact it’s quite the opposite. You can get to the point where you perform an action only for a deep desire to do it, forgetting the fear of what would happen if you didn’t. This is how an awakened Spirit works; no blackmail can break it.

Choosing, by listening to your profound conscious, doesn’t eliminate the Heart, nor does it force you to forget about others because, in any case, you know they’ll get by. Here, I am at another level; a level in which I am intimately connected to the flow of events and people. I sustain their growth but take into consideration their strength and independence as well as my own. I have retrieved the voice in my life and I have absolutely no desire to believe I can take that voice away from others

So to sum up briefly: “When all the energy you’ve wasted on worrying about the world is used to care for yourself instead, you will come out with your head held high against the biggest emotional blackmail of all time: responsibility!

Don’t drown in this cup of water… and if you do happen to fall in, remember, the responsibility has always been yours.

The Legend of the Eight… the birth of the Eish Shaok

When the Eish Shaok was still far from seeing the lights of the stages and the classes packed with students, from the Masters one could hear stories, passed down orally, with distant echoes; memories of a past with uncertain characters where behind every fable there was always a well-hidden truth. I have decided to tell you here something of what we know about the origins of our path, drawn from the legend that follows your teaching; I leave, as per Tradition, in the sentences and images a symbolic reading for those who are ready and attentive.

The tale begins with the lives of seven Masters from regions far apart. It is said that these had great powers and profound knowledge and that among them were: two warriors, brothers to each other, who, though young, were considered experts in the ancient martial arts, a priest with perfect control over emotions and thoughts, a healer and connoisseur of a variety of herbs and unguents, a hermit who travelled tirelessly and spiritually between worlds, a beggar who was able to live longer than any other, and a wise old man who was said to harness in his body the power of the winds and the might of the seas and lightning. Each with their own experiences and the difficulties of an existence made up of hard work and great trials, the seven (as they were called by the Tradition) could be said to be among the greatest holders of the techniques linked to their paths and were sought after by all those who wished to become their pupils. One spring day, the two brothers learned, from a fisherman in their village, of a young man who had arrived a few weeks earlier in the nearby mountains, called Simurgh, who seemed to know how to control his mind and heart. The two, attracted by the possibility of using anger, fear and love to win every battle and defeat every enemy, internal and external, decided to go to the newcomer. The legend does not describe the boy in detail, but it does tell us how the two warriors, who came to him, were impressed by him and learned his secrets. They followed his teachings with great passion and commitment and after some time, when training was almost over, he disappeared.

In the summer at the temple where the priest prayed and meditated during his days, a new young man appeared among the disciples. Although he was not very physically fit, he was capable of delivering blows of enormous power. The old master, attracted by the newcomer’s abilities, called him to himself and asked to learn his art. Over the next few weeks this happened and then the boy left, leaving the man before he had fully mastered his secrets and techniques.

In the months that followed, the same happened with the healer who was taught to travel with the spirit between the worlds, the hermit who was taught to heal with his own energy and that of nature, the beggar who was taught to harness the power of the soil and the sky, and the wise old man who learned to live longer than any other. One night the young boy, who had enriched the lives of the seven masters with his words and abilities, is said to have appeared to them in a dream and during it said: “I come from afar to remind you who you are and that all knowledge is within you. I leave you with the desire never to end the search and to unite you to understand the True One. He asked them, in return for the lessons they gave, to erect a large stone structure next to their houses, clearly visible to all travellers and locals. On each one the masters were to write, each in their own language, the same sentence: ‘I feed myself with pride if I teach others how to become who they are, I feed my people with wisdom if I teach them to look at themselves at every moment’.

According to legend, from the seven masters, finally united, came the ‘streams’ of the Eish Shaok, its foundations and its creed, and to them and to master Simurgh are dedicated the eight arms of the tree, the symbol of our path. The name Simurgh would later become in the Tradition a nickname and honorary appellation of the Haidehoi ( the Masters ) and is still used in this way today.